Today was a very hard day at work for me.
It was the last day for the Seniors at school. Each year I say it's hard to let go and let them fly.
This year is no exception. It was difficult, to say the least. Lots of tears for them and me.
You see, this year I was having trouble knowing if this (working at this school), was where I was suppose to be. Did God want me to stay or did he have something else in mind? I have struggled all year.
Let me go back to Fall, when school started. I'm assigned students to help me, by working in my small Attendance Office. School counselors assign these students to me. I never request or refuse a student. God gives me students, who He knows, needs to be there. They are there for a reason.
There are six periods in a day. That's two students each period. A total of 12 students that come in everyday. Twelve different personalities to deal with, along with doing my own fast pace job. We really get to know each other, very intimately. I know their lives in detail. Sometimes, more then I want to know.
With that said, this year I ended up with one student who returned from Rehab.
One student who is pregnant and living on her own (and has two jobs).
Two students were runaways but have returned home.
One student couldn't get to school on time and had to drop his class.
Another student had to drop her class because she was failing it.
Two of my students, this is their second year with me.
These are just some of the students that I see each day.
We have grown to know and respect each other. I listened to all their daily chatter and tried to make them feel important and needed. During my time with them, I would give my advice, tell stories to assist in their decisions, make them laugh, feed them (I have a drawer full of snacks and drinks), help them with homework, quiz them for tests and give then what I describe as, Life Lessons. I call these students "my kids" and they love that. My office is a safe place for them and they know it.
Like any relationship there are milestones. With these students you could feel it, see it and today I knew it.
They knew they were leaving the nest and were on their own. No more safety net, no more security, no more "mothering". It hit them hard! My job was done.
Now, back to my questioning my job and decision to be where I am.
I was given a letter from one of my "kids". She had been with me for two years. In her letter she told me that I was the reason she was still alive and she credited me, for helping her, staying in school. I was blown away! Me? Was that what I really read?
I had given her lots of attention and shown her lots of love but I didn't realize the importance of those moments.
Another student (the one from Rehab) thanked me for being there for him! Wow!
Each Senior left my office by giving me a hug. Not just a hug but a HUG!
I was left with their tears on my shoulder.
Is God telling me something? Am I suppose to be here? Can I do this another year?
Yes, yes, and yes!
Vanessa; You will be a great mother and will do well at college because you are smart and capable.
Josh; please remember what I told you, YOU are special. Please stay clean.
Genna; my little helper. I will miss you very much.
Greg; I am so proud of you! You are the first one in your family to graduate from High School. You did it!
Alicia; You blew me away! Yes, now we can go out for that cup of coffee.
The rest of you, well... I will see you next year!